Volume II closed on 10 August. In the eight weeks since, Batch 1996–2001 sent 2,103 more messages and collected a Professor, a CEO and a Vice Chancellor inside a single fortnight. Dr Naeem politely asked for less politics; a resistance movement had formed by the next afternoon. And Momena's recount was granted: the fuller archive holds 19,442 messages, and it corrects Volume II in four places.
Every figure is from the raw export. The season runs 11 August → 6 October 2026. Hover a card; the numbers count themselves in.
May's record still stands. Then the batch exhaled: August and September landed within two messages of each other. Hover the points.
★ May 2026: 3,464 messages on the recount, still the record. August 975, September 973. October shows six days only: 419 messages, about 70 a day, which is what three promotions do to a quiet group.
Typed messages only, full archive, recounted from the fuller export. Arrows show movement since 10 August on the same count. Appeals may be filed with Momena, who now has precedent.
Same method as before: a pair is "in conversation" when one replies within eight minutes of the other. This map covers the season only; each circle shows season messages. Tap or hover a name to light up their constellation.
Volume II watched everyone react to being read. Volume III watched what they did once the novelty wore off: mostly, they got promoted. Hover any card for the receipts.
Took the season back with 209 messages, became a Professor, and broke Raza's news before Raza could. Tied Jamal for the laugh crown at 37 each. One grand dinner now owed to the batch.
Second-busiest voice of the season and now fourth all-time, past Anila. Clinic stories, Ghani Khan tutorials, and the longest messages of anyone active: 20 words on average.
Passed Lalzada properly, 1,811 to 1,787. Recast the whole batch as non-doctors in seven minutes, began writing in Pashto script (13% of his season), and answered 37 messages with a single emoji.
Lost #2, gained a movement. Barred from second marriage by Nadia and from politics by Naeem, he founded the Baghi Group and keeps a standing forecast of petrol at 500.
Fifth-busiest voice of the season by volume: 173 messages, 99 of them images, 38 of them links. Also the man most likely to have the last word before the chat falls silent (15 times).
After the flood of Volume II: 79 messages in eight weeks, 36 of them on 25 September, the day after the politics ban. Still 82% in Urdu script, still a declared candidate for second marriage.
Doubled his lifetime output in eight weeks, 73 to 152. 38 of his 79 season messages came on 1 October, a morning seminar on self-deception that became the busiest day of the season.
Planned to keep the new title quiet. Nadia had other plans. Thanked the batch one by one, reopened the reunion file, and proposed the season's strictest remedy for a suspicious sick note.
18 typed messages all season, most of them notices and logistics, one of them a new signature. 53 congratulations landed on 4 October, the season's loudest day of applause.
Seven typed messages all season. One ran to 159 words and rewrote the group's constitution; another cited AHA guidance on CPR. An efficiency the newsroom could study.
The quietest season on her record and the best strike rate in the batch. Slipped to #5 behind Saeed, then answered his call for a permanent politics ban in four words.
37 links in 57 days and up two places, past Junaid and Jalil, into the top ten. Shortest messages of any regular at 4.2 words. Curates; rarely explains.
Full honours to the rest of the record: Momena (28 messages, two of them from the new VC's waiting room), Wajid (his quietest season, spent mostly on Ghani Khan books), Dr Kashif Rafiq's promotion, Fazal's Pashto verse, Zeeshan's commentary, Shahzad's dispatches from the land of 2-riyal petrol, Mohmand, Sher, Reeno, Khadija, Adil's dawn posts, Dr Arshad's daily calendar, Younas of Birmingham breaking a long silence, and every voice in the roll-call. Nobody who spoke is off the page.
The season's storylines, replayed in the original bubbles.
In fifteen days the batch produced a Professor, a second promotion, a CEO and a Vice Chancellor. Two of the four announcements were made by someone other than the person promoted.
After weeks of point-scoring, the patriarch asked, in one courteous paragraph, for less politics. Everyone agreed. Then everyone discussed the agreement, and the following day became the second-busiest of the season.
173 messages, 99 images, 38 links: the batch's one-man newsroom. The price of petrol was reported so faithfully that the audience began requesting bad news by appointment.
Nadia tabled a sick note from two students: roommates, one month of missed classes, simultaneous food poisoning. The batch convened as a disciplinary committee and split along entirely predictable lines.
With politics rationed, Saeed reopened his other department: the Murshid, Ghani Khan, set as homework to named students.
On 8 September Nadia asked what the batch would have been without medicine. Jamal answered for everyone in seven minutes. By October the open question was where the next reunion lands.
The charter is Dr Naeem's, from 8 May. This season the real world handed out the big prizes first; the Academy merely fills in the rest. Appeals to be filed in the group, where they will be enjoyed and ignored.
Volume II watched a batch discover it was being read. Volume III reports what it did once the novelty wore off: it got on with being accomplished. Nadia became a Professor and promised dinner. Kashif was promoted the same evening. Raza became a CEO and learned the group already knew. Jalil signed his first message as Vice Chancellor. Naeem asked for peace, Lalzada founded a resistance, and Saeed assigned Ghani Khan to both sides. Muneeb reported every paisa. And on 11 September the jokes stopped for an evening while the batch stood with a classmate in loss, which belongs on the record too.
19,442 messages. 2,103 since August. One recount granted, four corrections printed, one grand dinner owed. Volume IV arrives next quarter, or sooner if the reunion committee picks a continent. Generated for Dr Raza Qureshi · ayubian.com