On 8 May 2026 the first analysis went live on ayubian.com, and Batch 1996–2001 responded with the biggest day in twelve years of chat. Rankings contested, recounts demanded, a splinter group founded and abandoned within the hour. Raza promised the next edition would be "direct and sarcastic." This is that edition: 14,318 messages, chapter by chapter.
Every figure is from the raw export, 30 July 2014 → 10 August 2026. Hover a card; the numbers count themselves in.
Eleven years of 2014–2025 produced fewer messages than an average week of 2026. And the peak didn't come at the reunion. It came in May, the month the group discovered it was being analyzed. Hover the points.
★ May 2026: 3,018 messages, the all-time record: the AI report, the splinter group and the Age Wars in one month. August shows ten days only, already outpacing 2014–2025 combined.
Text messages only, full archive, movement since Volume I. Momena's official position: "sara jhoota analysis." The numbers respectfully disagree.
Computed from the archive: a pair counts as "in conversation" when one replies within eight minutes of the other. Thicker threads, more back-and-forth. Tap or hover a name to light up their constellation.
Volume I read the record. Volume II watched what everyone did after learning it was being read. Hover any card for the receipts.
Read the finding that she out-talks the batch 2-to-1, confessed on the spot, and posted 654 more messages. Also the archive's champion deleter (32).
The quiet coup: most active voice of the season, overtook Lalzada all-time, and duels Zulfiqar nightly in three languages, always ending warm.
Dethroned by Jamal, undeterred in doctrine. New position: if the AI declared him single, the AI now owes him a wife.
168 messages in a decade, then ~630 in three months. Co-founded a splinter group, lost the Age Wars, and treats the edit button as a diplomatic instrument.
Talked down a secession and won an age war in the same evening. The season's most effective negotiator; second-most prolific deleter (30).
Topped Volume I's intellectual table and translated the honour himself: "مطلب لیونے". Still answering Lalzada in classical Pashto, still the group's history desk.
Filed the season's formal protest, her input shown as "zero". 634 messages entered into evidence; wit density recertified.
His wife remains "Fevicol", now a batch common noun. New achievement: a family-tree riddle that defeated the group and artificial intelligence in one evening.
Built the site, the reunion, the video archive, the mock exams, and the analysis that roasted him by proxy. Then pointed the caravan at Baku.
Launched the batch photobook project, conducts mini reunions with Dr Reeno, and proposed the awards charter honoured below.
Full honours to the rest of the record: Jalil, Sabina (▲9), Junaid (Volume I's omission formally corrected), Fazal, Mariam, Khadija, Shabodin, Adil, Ibrar, Muneeb, Arshad's daily calendar service, Reeno, Sarfaraz's Pashto verse, and every voice in the roll-call. Nobody who spoke is off the page.
The season's storylines, replayed in the original bubbles.
At 17:51 Raza posts a link. By midnight the group has produced the biggest day in twelve years, auditing the AI and commissioning this sequel.
A breakaway group with one membership criterion: announced, populated by anonymous inbox applicants, dissolved by bedtime. Both founders posted here daily ever since.
Zulfiqar suggested the ladies had reached grandmother status while he remained young. Preserved as a teaching case in risk assessment.
Hostel fellows, three languages, one choreography: escalate, delete, edit, reconcile, repeat tomorrow.
The Silver Jubilee ended; the machinery didn't. Reunion films shipped to ayubian.com/videos, the photobook siege began, lost classmates were recovered (welcome home, Dr Tufail), and on 4 August the next chapter got a name.
Commissioned by Dr Naeem Burg on 8 May 2026: his categories honoured, plus data-verified additions. Appeals to be filed in the group, where they will be enjoyed and ignored.
Volume I observed that twenty-five years had changed nothing. Volume II reports something better: given three more months and the knowledge that they were being watched, the batch became even more itself. Nadia confessed to being the chatterbox and posted 654 more messages. Lalzada delegated his marriage to artificial intelligence. Zulfiqar, silent for a decade, produced a monsoon. Jamal fought everyone nightly and loved them all by midnight. Momena demanded a recount. Naeem invented an awards show. And Raza quietly pointed the whole caravan at Baku.
14,318 messages. Twelve years. One group that treats analysis as a group activity, argument as a love language, and every ending as the setup for the next reunion. Volume III arrives quarterly, on the record., Generated for Dr Raza Qureshi · ayubian.com